I walked 500 miles

So I'm back from a little trek through Italy with the 'rents. Man do they love gelati. And walking. I think it's some sort of evil self-imposed punishment/reward regime.

I ate gelato everyday and we averaged somewhere around 8 miles per day walking -- I'll get the actuals all added up and report them here later. Which is possible because my mom has a pedometer. So in addition to actual distance traveled, I'll also be able to tell you how many steps we took and how many of those were 'aerobic' steps.

Our itinerary was:
Saturday - Genoa
Sunday - Cinque Terra; we set-up camp in Vernazza
Monday - Florence
Tuesday - Siena
Wednesday - Rome

The Cinque Terra was definitely a highlight. Do a Google image search (or just look at the pictures below) and you'll see why. I also really liked Siena. I liked Florence more than last time (in the year 2000!) and Rome less.



Most days our routine went something like this:
early - Mom & Dad wake up, take showers and get ready, eat breakfast in the hotel.
right before leaving - I wake up.
mid-morning - we drive to the new destination. Dad is unimpressed with my navigation skills, responding with passive-aggressive comments about probable faster routes and my inability to deliver perfect information when he needs it, and complete silence when he does not. Mom sits in the back seat and smiles lovingly.
early afternoon - arrival in the next town; check-in to the hotel if one was reserved or finding one if no reservation was made. In the Cinque Terra we stayed in some kind of guestroom owned by a guy named Francesco. Lunch.
afternoon - we would walk a lot.
late afternoon - Gelati (the plural of Gelato).
early evening - back to the hotel for Dad to change into jeans, a fresh embroidered logo polo, and an embroidered logo jacket; quick nap for me.
evening - dinner, coffee, desert.
still pretty early evening - Mom and Dad crash for the night. I wander around the city looking for trouble.

Hazelnut Gelato is pretty great.

So now I'm back and my folks are walking around Belgium and Holland for a few days without me. They get back on Sunday afternoon and we'll probably walk some more, and then eat some more.

Emba-rrasing

So I've always pictured embassies like the one in that Val Kilmer movie (someone remember the name for me). Elisabeth Shue is running towards the gates, passport open, and the gates open for her and shut quickly behind. And then inside there are comfortable couches and tea with biscuits.

But this morning I went to get extra pages added to my passport and was brought to the cold reality that embassies are usually ugly buildings with bored, underpaid workers. Just an international version of the DMV.

But after waiting in line outside, sitting on the benches inside (while reading a hilarious America propoganda magazine called "The American"), my extra pages were added. So they got the job done.

With that said, the 'rents have arrived. Off to Italia for bad-pizza-that-they-think-is-good-pizza and a tour from Genoa to Rome. So the blog will be disturbingly quiet from now til next Thursday. Be warned. Maybe start your own blog (?) which would take about 10 seconds.

Bavaria

Salzburg. It's all about Mozart and The Sound of Music. The hills are really alive there. With the. Sound. Of Music.

Speaking of The Sound of Music -- the hostel I stayed in showed it every night at 8pm. And I was kind of embarrassed to know most of the words... to most of the songs.

Beautiful town though. It's a good town for old people to visit.

Munich on the other hand, is all about the bier and the weissbier. It's a good town for annoying Australians and Samoans to visit.

I knew most of the words to most of the songs that were played here too. And I kind of learned the words to this German toasting song that was played at least once hourly:

Ein Prosit, Ein Prosit, sum germudlicht kite,
Ein Prosit, Ein Prosit, sum germudlicht kite!

(And then we would all say something that sounded like): Unce, Fie, Dry, Sofa

They also did that Ziggy-Zaggy-Ziggy-Zaggy- Oye! Oye! Oye! cheer which was made popular in the States on The Man Show (awful show, that).

Everything's big there during Oktoberfest. It's in tents.

Things I've lost, or nearly lost

Last week I lost my woolie. It's the second woolie I've lost since moving to London. And then in Salzburg I lost my scarf.

Here's the complete list of things I've lost recently:
1. My gray woolie. It fell out of my pocket somewhere. It was a bad idea to put it in my back pocket.
2. My gray and blue striped scarf. Left it in this Argentine girlscout's backpack.
3. My brown woolie. Left it on a bus. It was a bad idea to fall asleep on the bus.
4. Some money. From when I got scammed on that Arsenal season ticket. It was a bad idea to wire money to Singapore.
5. My flip-flops when I was in Portugal. I left them on the beach and then it got windy and the sand covered them up and I couldn't find them.
6. Several pairs of sunglasses and gloves.
7. My entire Rickey Henderson baseball card collection. For a bunch of Shawn Kemp basketball cards. Bad trade.

Here are things that I thought I lost but really just misplaced:
1. This really soft t-shirt with a lion-shaped silhouette. I saw a picture of myself wearing it, which reminded me that I once wore it often. But then I looked for it and couldn't find it. So then I accused my ex-girlfriend of stealing it (she was in the picture), but she denied any wrongdoing. She was vindicated when I found it at the back of my closet. It's still really soft.

Here are things that I haven't realized I've lost yet:
1.


Tomorrow: pictures from Salzburg! and Munich!
Later this week: how I just found out that one of my best friends was hit by a car (he's okay) and why that means we should all tell the people that we love that we love them more often.

Prost x10

Here's how to make your own Oktoberfestbier:

Take one American county fair. Add several million people in the following percentages:

70% Bavarian (with 50% in traditional lederhosen)
10% other non-descript Germans
8% overzealous and most often obnoxious Australians, Italian, English, Samoans and American fratboys.
6% Asians
4% Dutch guys who like the girls but prefer Dutch beer
2% really out of place and confused sober people

In place of livestock in the barns, insert people as an exact substitution, with the same rations of food and drink.

Accompany these masses with traditional German folk songs as well as pop hits from the 1980s and '90s, including "Angels" by Robbie Williams and "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi.

Keep the gaudy ferris wheels, carnie games and roller coasters. Add quite a bit of quality and variety to the food booths, including the roasting of oxen and endless amounts of sausages and sausage-inspired cuisine.

Employ no-nonsense personnel in all service and security positions.

Open gates at 7am, livestock barns (called tents) at 9am; close at 11pm.

Repeat for 16 days.

Oktoberfest by the numbers

I'm leaving tomorrow for Munich by way of Salzburg and will be there for the closing weekend.

- There are 14 main tents, each with a unique beer/wine offering. Most have traditional brass bands playing throughout the day and night. And some of them have yodelers.

- 12,000 people work there. 1,600 of them are those are barmaids that can carry 12 steins at a time as well as beat me at arm wrestling.

- There is seating for 100,000 people.

- In 2006, 6.1 million mugs of beer were sold.

- You can also eat food there. Last year 102 roasted oxen were consumed, along with 219,443 pairs (?) of sausage and 459,279 chickens.

I'm going to meet up with my good friend Sebastian who I haven't seen for 4 years or so. He's German, from Germany. The real thing.

Yesterday I went to this techno party

It was crazy. I was the only one not wearing skinny jeans, ironic sunglasses, designer hi-tops and a minimalist scarf. But I can throw down Red Bull with the best of them (and then lay in bed shaking 5 hours later in total regret).

Pretty good time though. I actually enjoyed it thoroughly.