Running for president

A few nights ago I dreamt that I could finally touch my toes. This is something I've never been able to do, so I woke up feeling pretty proud of myself for no reason.

I've always suspected that I have a long torso, long legs and short arms. If that's the case it's not really a fair measurement anyway, right? And besides, I've been told that my lateral flexibility is quite good.

The fact that the test is flawed hasn't stopped me from trying to improve on it, even though until recently I wasn't a fan of stretching at all. (Do Lions stretch before they go on a hunt? No. I trained for and ran a marathon without ever stretching.)

Despite all my attempts, I've never really even made progress. And then for one entire day I truly believed that I could do it. And then I tried and failed and realized it must have been a dream. So that was disappointing.

Now I'm back in the same place I was over 10 years ago at Goshen Middle School during testing for the Presidential Physical Fitness Challenge. I can still totally own the Curl-Ups and Shuttle Run. I can make a pretty honest attempt at the 85th percentile for the One-Mile Run. I own the Pull-Up bar...

...But I can't even register on the Sit & Reach. I can barely reach the ruler, let alone extend beyond it. I'm just not Presidential material.