Foodie

I've learned my lesson once and for all regarding: ordering food from a menu I can't read.

Last weekend in Madrid I was at a tapas restaurant, and thought I could translate enough words within the menu items and descriptions to rally up a delicious feast. Historically I've not been good at guessing what to order -- in Morocco a few years ago I accidentally ordered smoked salmon for 3 consecutive dinners. I've not really enjoyed salmon since.

This meal didn't really turn out any better. I just pointed at a few things and figured that because there were words mixed in that identified cheese, bread, ham and chicken that the result would be a good one. Instead I ordered two nearly identical HUGE dishes, and a COLD OLIVE SALAD. I don't typically like cold salady things, and olives are honestly one of the more disgusting things in the world (they're brown or green and wet? come on.) I also hate wasting food so the fact that I had more food than I could ever eat even if I liked the food was upsetting.

So after eating bits and pieces I decided to get a takeaway box (which was a whole other exciting Lost in Translation exchange), thinking that I'd give my extras to one of the many homeless people I'd seen around town during the afternoon and prior night. Someone who liked olives. So then of course I couldn't find a homeless person anywhere. eh-neh-wair. I walked around for 2 hours. How unlucky can one person be? (I of course realize this is an ironic statement when juxtapositioned with actual homelessness.)

Finally I found a guy sleeping and I left the food by his bags. A few steps later I passed another homeless guy and immediately had whatever the opposite of shopper's remorse is.

Also learned during that walk that, like most countries in Europe, The Simpson's are huge in Spain. And also that the Spanish really enjoy large Bingo halls.