Dissonance and reconciliation

1. In Paris, on the subway: a gentleman steps onto the train wearing a beret and scarf, and sporting a thin mustache. He is obviously the Frenchiest French guy ever. And then he speaks. In English. With a strong southern accent. WHAT?! This isn't something I can understand.

Consider the opposite: an overweight guy wearing a trucker hat drinking Busch Light in a truckstop in Alabama. But he is somehow French and only speaks French. It doesn't happen.

2. What world is Todd Helton living in with that World Series goatee? There is simply no way of explaining that away.

3. The worst city in the world to have a head cold in? My vote is Paris on a cold, rainy day. At least until they institute the smoking ban.