HAPPY NEW YEAR

In 2009 I'd like to blog more.

But as they say: if nothing's going in, nothing's going to come out. In an effort to feed a bit more content into brain, and thus inspire new content for the blog, I'm going to have to read more in the new year.

If you're unfamiliar with my history with reading, it goes something like this:

Age 0-14 Voracious appetite for reading and being read to.

Age 15-24 Only read when absolutely necessary (textbooks).

Age 25-27 Read one or two books each month. Rotated between fiction and non-fiction. Lots of Tom Robbins, Dave Eggers/McSweeneys stuff, some Classics. Typically read before falling asleep as a way to wind down at the end of the day.

Age 28 Got so good at winding down by reading, that I'm no longer able to stay awake if there is a book in hand. I can read, at a maximum, 4 pages before falling asleep. And those last two pages are read in a state of semi-consciousness. So usually I have to read 2 pages back in order to remember where I left off the night before, for a net of 2 pages/night. This explains why my entire reading for 2009 consists of 3/4 of a single book.

Have a great night tonight. I hope all your dreams come true.

In case you thought you were talented

This timely gem (first published in 1987 and most recently updated in 2006! Nice find Brad!) is worth a few minutes to read/watch: www.wisconsinmedicalsociety.org/savant_syndrome/savant_profiles/stephen_wiltshire

Stephen Wiltshire is a autistic artist who draws (mainly architecture) from memory, with ridiculous accuracy. And not just single buildings. One of the main methods he uses is to do a one-time flyover of a city (he's done this in London, Rome and Hong Kong) in a helicopter, then spend the next few days mapping the entire city out on a mural. He usually gets the number of windows in each building correct. Everything is to scale.

If someone wants to buy me a print or something, please do so here: http://www.stephenwiltshire.co.uk/

Oh and then there was the time he decided to sing and found out he has perfect pitch and is a genius in music theory and all that.

But you're talented too. Really.

Awesome. Looking forward to it.

High of -3 (-25 celsius) in Chicago today. With blowing snow, winds 0f 20-30 mph.

Can't wait.

Radio silence

Many of you (ok 2 of you) have lamented the disappearance of er/uk.

I have no idea where the guy is.

He hasn't stopped by for a few weeks but I did get a text from him the other night. He told me he had a great nap at the opera on Tuesday.

I'll keep my eyes peeled. If anyone has heard anything from him please let me know. I'm not worried... yet.

Warmest regards,
Eric

*Ah, we laugh

A colleague pointed me to research which shows that children smile/laugh an average of 400x per day, while adults smile/laugh an average of 14x per day.

Age brings responsibility, responsibility brings stress, blah blah blah. Children judge their surroundings not by layoffs/bailouts/politics/terror alert levels but by the immediate availability of food, shelter, freedom, napping, and love -- things we ultimately still (most likely) have in excess as adults.

With that in mind, I defy you to watch the following clips with a straight face.







And this one is the absolute best.



I think I'm becoming Oprah.

*I couldn't remember where this quote came from. I was thinking it had to be from a movie -- then I remembered that it came from a former co-worker. He was called into the bosses office on a Friday afternoon. As he walked by my desk I said, jokingly, "Nice working with you." On his way back past my desk several minutes later he said "Ah, we laugh." Then he packed his belongings into a box and disappeared forever.

The best two albums I bought last Monday

I was 2/2.

The Acorn- Glory Hope Mountain
www.theacorn.ca
Canadians, eh? I've already described them as a poor man's Fleet Foxes. A bit more mellow and not so focused on harmonies, but more reflective and I like the storytelling angle of the album.

Ladyhawke - Delirium
www.ladyhawkemusic.com
Aussie chick. Loves cats. Loves the synth. Might as well be a Lauper reissue from the 80s. Really listenable the whole way through. Lots of catchy hooks. Happy music. Cut Copy for girls.

Today at lunch

I go to this place that sells pasta by the cup. That's convenient, because it's easy to transport. You don't need a bag or anything to carry it.

Except that they give you a paper bag and even look incredulous if one would dare to turn it down. They also give you, by default, a plastic fork, and a million napkins along with a receipt. People seemed to like the little paper bag. When their pasta was ready, they placed the sealed cup in the bag, carried it back approximately one block to their office building, to their desk, then threw the bag away.

So let's recap: one serving of pasta. one small paper bag. one cup. one fork. one million napkins. one receipt.

Really? Is that necessary? I don't need a receipt. I definitely don't need a bag. I need one napkin (although I do know people who require more than one. In fact I know people who would benefit from changing into a full-body napkin before coming within a 10 foot perimeter of food).

So much of our economy is industries of waste. Packaging, then disposal.

In Germany you pay extra for packaged goods, but get the money back on return (of a bottle, say). If you leave a bottle in the street, someone will pick it up IMMEDIATELY and return it. The upfront cost is like a rental. If you want to be lazy, someone else will benefit from that, but in the end the bottle will be recycled as it should be.

Why can't we just do that everywhere, for everything? I'm sure a stupid little pasta cup carrier bag costs a few cents. Make me pay a few more cents/pence if I want the stupid little pasta cup carrier bag or give me a discount if I refuse it. Either way I am incentivized to be responsible/practical.

And maybe that encouraged common sense would spread into other things. The economic message we've received is pretty clear -- the way things are run at the moment is not sustainable. That includes some businesses but mostly the way that many businesses are run (helloooo GM and most financial service companies).

There is a bright side. That bright side is that there is a whole new economy that can emerge from a new focus on resourcefulness and efficiency. I feel like a few good ideas (not big, just inspired) could change our behavior for the better. I just hope I think of one before some other jerk does.

Ram it

Today...
If you think you're full...
When you can't imagine eating another bite...

Just Ram It.

Thankful fest 2009

Everyone in Charlottesville used to leave town for Thanksgiving. It's one of those towns where no one is from -- so everyone has somewhere else to go.

During my time in Charlottesville I had somewhere better to be on Thanksgiving too -- I just didn't go. The appeal of "working" on the day after Thanksgiving was just too great to pass up in exchange for a 600+ mile drive home to frozen Indiana.

So those of us yupsters (yuppie hipsters) who stayed around created a modified non-familial version of the day: Thankful Fest. Here was a typical agenda during Thankful Fest's glorious 3 year run:

1. Wake up at 7am. Drive to Boar's Head.
2. Participate illegally in the Boar's Head Turkey Trot 5k. Be advised that race officials will not let unregistered runners cross the finish line. Protest nonviolently by eating free race bagels, donuts, juice and fruit in the race tent.
3. Drive to Harris Teeter. Buy frozen pizza.

For the next 6-8 hours:

4a. Eat the pizza. Watch football on TV.
4b. Or throw football outside.
5. For dinner: Chinese Buffet.
6. Find the saddest bar in town, filled with the most depressing people.
7. Drink Guinness.

Throwing the football really does fill the day. Especially when you're surrounded by friends who can invent games on the spot that become competitive immediately (see SkyRise Ball and Guava Ball). I don't remember the name, but we had a Hail Mary type game that lasted 2 Thankful Fests.

Hope all of you Americans have a great Thanksgiving. And I'll have a blessed Thursday.

I forgot again

The November 22 death prophecy.

Another year of immortality!

Feast or famine

I'm starting to realize that I've entered a strange routine that rotates between periods of uber productivity, as characterized by things like:

- nonstop travel
- social hyperactivity
- not sleeping much at all
- eating meals at irregular hours
- spending lots of cash

... and extended periods where I fail comprehensively at being a human being:

- sleeping in, then waking up but staying in bed until I fall asleep again, only getting up eventually so that I can enjoy a nice afternoon nap on the couch
- can't be bothered to see anyone really
- not eating anything that can be classified as a complete meal
- spending 40 pence on a hard-boiled egg on my only trip out of the flat

Part of it is the cold, part of it is the darkness, part of it is that I'm getting soooo old. Good old London winters.

Shambles

Life really is so predictable, in that everything will never go right at the same moment.

Maybe work is going well, but socially things have dried up. You have time but not money or money but no time. When everything around us seems to be falling apart there are always small inspirations to lift us up, and when life is beautiful there are always hassles and chores to temper things.

Obama may get elected, but then Arsenal and Notre Dame will be in shambles, as an example.

Last trip of the year before my last trip of the year

YTD (year to date)

New York, USA
Philadelphia, USA
Charlottesville, USA
Gibraltar, UK
Malaga, Spain
Granada, Spain
Bristol, England
Cannes, France
Nice, France
Monte Carlo, Monaco
Paris, France
Sofia, Bulgaria
Varna, Bulgaria
Plovdiv, Bulgaria
Barcelona, Spain
Madrid, Spain
Paris, France
Istanbul, Turkey
Bodrum, Turkey
Milan, Italy
Stresa, Italy
Menaggio, Italy
Bellagio, Italy
Varenna, Italy
Lecco, Italy
Bergamo, Italy
Berlin, Germany
Amsterdam, Netherlands
Edinburgh, Scotland
DC, USA
Lancaster, USA
New York, USA
Damascus, Syria
Beirut, Lebanon
Sidon, Lebanon
Beittedine, Lebanon
Byblos, Lebanon
Charlottesville, USA
New York, USA
Frankfurt, Germany
Stockholm, Sweden
Paris, France
Zurich, Switzerland
Interlaken, Switzerland
Basel, Switzerland
Cairo, Egypt
Budapest, Hungary
Pecs, Hungary
Zagreb, Croatia
Pula, Croatia
Stockholm, Sweden

YTD (yet to go)

Paris, France
Chicago, USA
Goshen, Real America
South Bend, USA
New York, USA

My flatmate, the comedian

Is it still called the White House?

Universally predictable

A couple nights ago I woke up with a slight ear ache. I wasn't happy about it, but a cool head prevailed and I decided I should focus my energy on finding a solution. So I picked up my best friend (my phone) and googled "ear ache". I clicked on a result which listed some possible treatments.

I then went into the bathroom and soaked a hand towel in steaming hot water. I went back to bed with the towel resting on my affected ear. I fell back asleep quickly and woke up to my alarm feeling great. I was so proud of myself.

Only at work the next day did I remember that this was the second time I've gone through this exact sequence of events -- the previous time being more than a year ago.

So this wasn't a moment of insight. I was just working through my protocol for problem solving, which involves (1) being angry; (2) looking at my resources; (3) usually googling something; (4) acting on my findings.

Here's another example.

I was in Paris. My hotel wasn't in an area of town with many restaurants. So I got on the metro. I predicted that I could find a good stop by watching which kinds of people were getting off the train. When lots of cool looking people got off the train, so did I. I exited to street level and looked around. I walked in the most promising direction. I looked down side streets until I noticed one that looked particularly welcoming. I peered into cafe windows until I found the one I liked best. I sat down and ate a delicious meal.

Several months later I was back in Paris and once again hungry. I thought I should try to find that same restaurant, but I hadn't noted where it was or the name. Starting from the same hotel I followed the same rational. I got on the metro, I followed the crowd, then I followed my instincts directly to the same street and the same restaurant -- without a single wrong turn on the way.

One thing that disillusions people about religion is that Someone or Something could be all knowing, and that choices aren't really ours to make. I think it's more like the above. If you know someone's heart, their tendencies, their approach to living and solving problems, then you can predict exactly what they'll do in any given situation. Looking at things from that perspective doesn't make me feel disillusioned, it makes me feel closer to everyone around me. For as many complexities as we have as humans, there are also universal truths: we're complicated, but for better or worse, we're also repetitive.

Art, inc.

A modern dilemma. A song or movie you like, which turns out to be an advertisement.

A few examples:

1. Chris Brown, Forever.



Good song. But ... it was written and originally recorded as an advert for Wrigley's (and you thought that 'Double your flavo(u)r, double your fun' line was a coincidence). Is it hip to dance to a commercial?

They released this (it's on his album too) and waited for it to top the charts before coming out about its origins.

2. Somers Town.



Saw this movie last night and loved it. Same director (and star) as 'This is England', which is also supposed to be brilliant. This was funded by Eurostar (the London-Paris chunnel train). Eurostar is never mentioned by name in the film.

Really just takes product placement to a new level. Funding is obviously a bit more important for a film than in a song, so maybe it's also more forgivable -- this movie might not get made without corporate backing. And they also never hid the connection.

3. Where the hell is Matt?



Again, brilliant output. Surely does more good than evil, but his trip was sponsosored by Stride gum (do people still chew gum? Maybe that's why so many gum companies are going rogue).

Something nonpolitical

Heh. I once learned all of the words to this song. Vid is directed by Michel Gondry too. Means I was cool even in 1994!

November 5

So that is that.

I'm relieved, but more than that I'm proud and I'm excited. (I'm also tired because the first exit polls didn't start for me until after midnight, Ohio wasn't called until 3.30am, and the concession/acceptance speeches didn't start until after 4.)

It's amazing how quickly perception changes. It's palpable here -- Europeans are genuinely excited, impressed and inspired. That might seem unimportant, but they're representative of everyone on the outside looking in, and it must be easier to make progress with friends than with critics. Since moving to London 20 months ago I never heard a single good thing said about the US until today -- just jokes and a resignation to uninspiring policy, strong-arming the helpless and doing all of it smugly. Yesterday we proved that we are still capable of breaking boundaries and making history. The reality that such a barrier still couldn't be broken anywhere else changes things.

I personally feel a sense of ownership that I've never felt before. For the first time in my lifetime we've elected someone I can rally behind, someone I want to hear speak, someone I believe in. He can think on his feet and writes his own speeches. He can beat me at basketball (I could beat him at bowling). He can pronounce the word nuclear. My upbringing is as different from Barack's as it is from Dubya's, but I feel like there is far more common ground in our shared view of the world, and all the good and bad in it.

So now the question is, what next? Best case scenario is that we buy back into the concepts of common good and community, come up with brilliant ways to become energy independent, and use a new thoughtful roadmap to diplomacy. We take care of each other and live within our means. Worst case scenario is that we stand still and lose momentum -- if that happens history can repeat itself and we'll find ourselves in the same wars -- ideologically and on the ground. My contributions (everyone's contributions) over the next 4 and 8 years will help to determine the success of this presidency. It's going to be one small deed by one small deed.

So it was a good day. Tempered slightly by the fact 55 million Americans still would've preferred an uber-rich, erratic old white guy and a brainless sidekick to a forward thinking, empowering black dude and a steady hand.

America.

I can't wait for this to be over

"No matter how they vote, Americans will make history today. They may pick the first black U.S. president. Or the oldest first-term president."

Oh wow, that would be so great to be involved in something like electing the oldest first-term president. Momentous!

I don't know about you guys, but I'm voting for the white guy.

Anniversary

6 years on the job.

Geez.

Vote or die

Seriously though vote for Obama.

For the love

My teams keep losing. Arsenal (technically a draw). Then Arsenal again. Then Notre Dame. The Colts are probably losing as I write this. But nothing could make me feel any worse than an upset involving a desperate old man and his psycho dumb as a doorknob trophy friend.

Let's not screw this up.

Maverick

A Rise in Kidney Stones Is Seen in U.S. Children

Trailblazer. Nonconformist. Maverick. It would be silly to call myself any of these names -- no true Maverick would ever describe themselves as one -- but it's not difficult to see me as a sort of pioneer here in view of my accomplishments. Truly ahead of my time.

Back from Buda, back from Pest

This morning I woke up in a smokey mobile home near the beach in Pula on the south coast of Croatia.

Thirty minutes later I was hitching a ride to the airport with some Welshmen in a dilapidated caravan.

Flash forward a few hours and I was back in London, walking to the office. All I could think about were the delicious rice cakes sitting on my desk awaiting my return.

Going Hungary

I have an embarrassing carbon footprint. This weekend it hardly gets better although for once I'll be driving between a few cities instead of flying -- have a quick road trip planned with my friend Conor and his brother. Some of the destinations are TBD depending on how the wind blows, but likely stops are:

Budapest - because I fly there

Ljubljana - because I'd like to go to a city that I can't pronounce

Pula - because I fly back from there

Zagreb - because it's sort of on the way

Hungary, Croatia and Slovenia are three countries I've never been to. Croatia, especially, has been on my To Do list for a long time. I'm a big fan of their exchange rate.

Have a great weekend everyone and Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Bad sweater party

We're throwing one in a few weeks.

I'm going to attend wearing a blue t-shirt with giant sweat stains under the armpits and around the neck.

Top 10 cities that I happen to have been to

I'm going to come up with a ranking of the cities I've been to -- top 10 at least. I want to know which one is my favorite.

That sounds dumb but I honestly don't know which will win -- I'm going to rank them all by the following categories and the city with the highest rating will win.

1. Cost of a pint (as a measure of affordability -- like the Big Mac index).
2. The weather.
3. Design/architecture + cleanliness.
4. Ease of getting in and out + ease of getting around within the city.
5. How much the women like me + average hotness + average stylishness.
6. How much the men want to hurt me + anti-Americanism + racialism.
7. Nightlife.
8. Food.
*Bonus for being exotic (how cool the name sounds, famous landmarks, etc.)

Anything else I should be factoring in?

Me, the King of Pop, and some pyramids

My camel's name was Michael Jackson.

Cairo live: walking and smoking like an Egyptian

I'm walking like an Egyptian because I rode a camel for an hour and a half too long (total riding time: one hour, 48 minutes).

I'm smoking like an Egyptian because even on vacation I continue to inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide as part of a process called eupnea. Apparently just breathing in Cairo is equivalent to smoking two packs a day. The haze/smog/fog really is unbelievable. After a while you only start to notice when it's not there and you can actually see the facade of buildings just across the Nile.

Good times though -- Brad and I survived a taxi ride to Giza yesterday. Saw the pyramids. Looked at some mummified cats and monkeys.

Seriously though camel riding is not advised. I could've stuck with it and been in Libya by Tuesday, but even THAT prize wasn't enough to keep me at it (I hear Libya is wonderful this time of year).

Pharoah pharoah

Off to Cairo. So far I've been offered these words of wisdom:

1. Watch out for thieves, mummies and tap water.
2. Smoke a hookah on an outdoor patio.
3. Hotels have the night life.
4. The people are crazy.
5. Definitely take a boat ride on the Nile.
6. If you want a more chill time find out where the rich Egyptians go.
7. Go to the pyramids in the morning with the sunrise.
8. Go to the pyramids at the end of the day after the crowds.
9. There is an awesome laser light show each evening at the pyramids.
10. The light show is completely underwhelming.
11 Pyramids are a hefty taxi ride away but they are worth it. They have a pretty corny laser light show every night.
12. No shorts, no sandals.
13. Shorts are completely fine.
14. Chance of getting lost and wandering for 40 years -- small.
15. Try and visit the Citadel and the Egyptian Museum in Tahrir Sq all in one go, and go to the Giza Pyramids another day.
16. When in Giza, make sure you go down to the catacombs, the entrance is on one side of Khafra Pyramid, claustrophobic’s worst nightmare but worth the scare.
17. One of the best bars in Cairo is Sultana - should not miss this. It's on the northern tip of Zamalek which is an island in the middle of the Nile and its where a lot of the embassies are.
18. The Hilton Nile has a very cool bar... good place to kickoff the evening.
The Thai restaurant Birdcage at the Intercontinental is excellent.
19. Go shopping on Talaat Harb street on the weekend and don't miss Khan el-Khalili market. But make sure you bargain, those guys can cheat you with a straight face.
20. Indulge in street food.
21. Don't bother going to CityStars Mall.. its crappy, no matter how much they try to convince you otherwise. In fact, I can't think of a single good reason for visiting the Heliopolis neighborhood which is to the East of the city.
22. Must try foul for breakfast -- the Egyptian version of refried beans, everybody starts their morning with this. If you're lucky you may catch the tail end of the mango season as well.
23. Don't enter a cab unless you negotiate a price first, if riding solo you’ll have to ride shotgun. Short cab rides should cost no more than a tenner.
24. Make sure you agree on a price before getting into the cab, hell, make them put it in writing.
25. Being kidnapped is less fun than it sounds.
26. Say hi to Tut for me.
27. You better be back at work Monday afternoon.

Ok...

Ride hard

I like walking, I'm constantly annoyed by bikers (when they aren't Swedish girls) interpreting traffic laws in any way that benefits them, and I don't need the hassle of locking/unlocking a bike repeatedly but maybe still getting my front wheel or seat* stolen because some people out there are jerks.

Or at least that's what I thought until I rode my friend Sebastian's bike around Frankfurt a few weeks ago. Since that day I've been in the market for a bike -- not a fast one or a shiny one or a geary one -- and yesterday I bought one**.

I'm not riding to get in shape or to get somewhere in particular. I probably won't ride to work because I don't want to ride in traffic and come to a tragic end (my complete lack of understanding of UK traffic law makes this highly likely).

I'll be biking only because city riding makes me a more efficient people watcher and lets me stumble on things that I would never have walked past. I'll also only be riding when it's sunny and nice like it was yesterday (bike shopping yesterday was like grocery shopping on an empty stomach), which is to say, 5-10x per year.


*They call seats "saddles" here.

**Even the WORST SALES PITCH IN THE HISTORY OF SALES couldn't put me off. Said pitch consisted of the following soundbites:

"80% of the people who I sell bikes to have their bikes stolen."
"I don't even want to sell that bike. If I sell all my bikes I have to go and get more bikes."
"This is the second time that bike has been in my shop. The first person who bought it brought it back and got another one."

Brits v Yanks

When Harry Potter (some people call him by his stage name, Daniel Radcliffe) was in London's West End play Equus, he had a nude scene. During the play's run of 4 months, no one ever took a picture or video of his bits and posted it on the interweb.

Equus opened in NYC on September 25. It took until September 25 for someone to post a picture of his bits on the interweb (see it here).

America!

What I did with a hard boiled egg tonight

1. Bought it for 40 pence.

2. Ate it.

I keep doing this and I don't know why. I do like hard boiled eggs but the impulse is a strange one. Maybe I'm pregnant. 

Service nation

I recently heard that a study had been done which found that Europeans and Americans work, on average, the same amount per day, week and year. The difference was that Americans spend more time at work and do less work at home; Europeans spend less time at work but do more work at home.

The reason: America is a great service economy. The example given was dry cleaning. In London it costs $7-8 to get a shirt dry cleaned. In the US you can get a shirt dry cleaned for a few dollars, with free pickup and delivery in some cities. There are countless other examples where Americans outsource their home economics to the service economy. In the UK and across Europe, it's too costly to do so.

Just thought of that when I paid $48 for my dry cleaning (6 shirts and a suit).

Reinventing the virtual wheel

Sorry for the inconsistent posting these days. It's for your own good.

I've decided to change the regularity of my posts from "once a day except when I'm traveling" to "whenever I want, regardless of my location and potentially even more than once daily". I'm guessing that quantity may drop ever so slightly, but if today's brilliant Pizza/Pasta Hut post is any indication, the quality will remain indisputably top shelf.

I've got trips to Cairo, Ljubljana/Zagreb and Stockholm coming up this month. I've never posted while traveling before but that doesn't mean I didn't have interesting things to say and sarcastic observations to make. I had rules for when/where to post that prevented me from posting at times (and forced me to write when I was at my most uninspired).

Glad we had this talk.

Eating at the hut

So Pizza Hut UK has the brilliant idea of changing their name to Pasta Hut, because they do more than pizza.

Well done lads. But you also do more than pasta, don't you? You do pizza too. So maybe you should change your name to Pizza H... er.

The real elephant in the room, if you want a descriptive and literal name, is that you're not serving any pizza OR pasta in a hut these days, are you?

Don't be a racialist.

Hate to keep being political, but this transcends politics:

A candidate for president should not be judged by the color of his skin. And to anyone who thinks differently, I say, please do not reject John McCain just because he's white. I think the recent news from Wall Street has made us all less tolerant, and only reinforced the stereotype that white people are shiftless, thieving welfare queens.

Now, take a look at these pictures. Here are the CEO's of Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG and the Lehman Brothers. I know the first thing that jumps out about these faces is they all happen to be white, and they all happen to be responsible for stealing. But, what you have to understand is that these whites are a product of a society that made them that way. It was the neighborhoods and the schools they went to: Harvard, Yale, the Wharton School of Business. They never learned the value of doing real, actual work. And the first step to fixing that is better role models so kids growing up white today don't think the only way out of Westchester is corporate crime. Or a government handout. Or sailing.

So, I get it. The temptation is to look at McCain and vote against him because you don't see an individual; you just see another typical welfare "whitey." And it's true. He spent his entire life shuffling from one low-paying government job to another. Well, except those years he spent in prison. Typical. And, between you and me, he's not very articulate. Oh, he may have some street smarts, but he's not what you'd call an "educated" man. He freely admits he's ignorant about the economy. And apparently the only thing his white running mate knows how to do is crank out one baby after another.

And now, of course, her teenage daughter is pregnant out of wedlock, because she learns it at home! But, that doesn't mean we should assume all white people are like that just because so many of them are. I believe there is hope. I believe even the stupidest, greediest, laziest whites can break the cycle of dependence, like this November when we finally move George Bush out of public housing.

- Bill Maher

My top five-oh

I understand that I'm seen by some of you as a father figure. Here is what er/uk (call me dad) has in his tape deck at the moment. I can dub some of these for you if you want. My current top 50, in no particular order:

move your feet junior senior
spoken for we are scientists
out there on thin ice cut copy
so much love to give dj falcon & thomas bangalter
bizarre love triangle new order
i go i go i go wave machines
learnalilgivinanlovin' (stryafoam kid "sunshine" mix) gotye
churches under the stairs brendan canning
tiger mountain peasant song fleet foxes
i told her on alderaan neon neon
sleepy head passion pit
all i need radiohead
over and over hot chip
headphone song junior senior
swagga like us jay-z (featuring kanye west, ti & lil wayne)
we own the sky m83
archangel burial
what a wonderful world (dub mix) axwell & bob sinclair (featuring ron carroll)
electric feel mgmt
mostly a friend less gonzalez alvarez
paper planes m.i.a.
with every heartbeat robyn (with kleerup)
lay me down cyndi lauper (with kleerup)
lights & music (moulinex remix) cut copy
kids mgmt
black & gold (phones as hard as diamonds edit) sam sparro
cape cod kwassa kwassa (the teenagers remix) vampire weekend
gun emiliana torrini
to cure a weakling child/boy girl song adem
superstar lupe fiasco (featuring matthew santos)
death will never conquer coldplay
i believe simian mobile disco
love lockdown (studio version 2) kanye west
the penalty beirut
when water comes to life cloud cult
charlotte booka shade
one pure thought hot chip
untitled #8 (popplagio) sigur rós
lost! coldplay
to build a home the cinematic orchestra
he doesn't know why fleet foxes
while you wait for the others grizzly bear
mirando ratatat
far away cut copy
the weight of lies the avett brothers
this boy's in love the presets
together dj falcon & thomas bangalter
time to pretend mgmt
touch too much hot chip
until we bleed lykke li (with kleerup)

A sentence you can never write

kyle dean reinford hugged jenny lewis while she was eating a piece of pizza with bill murray backstage at band of horses.

On your best day, maybe you can 2 of those things.

K -- sorry about the absent bday post. I didn't forget as you know by my warm brotherly gchat banter. Hope you had a great day.

Yo swedeness, it's my weakness

Usually I go on vacation. This weekend vacation is coming to me.

Failin with Palin '08

I love women. Love them.

And respect them and see them as my equals if not my superiors.

But Sarah Palin is not smart. She doesn't speak in complete sentences instead using more of a stream of consciousness approach to speaking about America and crisis mode and the next great depression and possibly having to go to war with Russia because Georgia and Ukraine should be in NATO and the Bush Doctrine/Bush's worldview Charlie? I can see Russia from my house! she sounds like what I would sound like if you fed me too much information about how to answer questions without really knowing anything about the issues because maybe I went to five colleges in six years and graduated from the University of Idaho but I didn't blink because I knew how great Senator McCain is and you don't blink when these kinds of things happen because he'll reform Washington and has a history of doing so even when everyone is against him and how people are looking to McCain -- he's a maverick! with 13 cars -- to see what he'll do with the economic package even though really it's not his deal and he should probably not halt his campaign even though they're still running ads and prepare for the debate that he's backing out of because he loves gimmicks and is not able to multitask and are.

I'm tired.

Worth watching on the beeb

Long long time ago I ran across the UK Mac guys. In my head, I confidently decided that these guys weren't funny, despite the popularity of their TV show: Peep Show (which isn't actually on the beeb/BBC).

I was wrong.

I watched Season 2 of Peep Show this week and it is brilliant. It sort of combines the cubicle humor of The Office (UK edition) with the social awkwardness of Flight of the Conchords. Who could ask for anything more?

I'm sure it will be in the US in some form sooner or later. Although they'll have to tone it down unless it's on HBO Little-Britain style.

Update: seems like you can watch the whole thing on YouTube!

Not tall film

I think I'm going to write a short that happens in an airport. All of the worst things will happen to the hero as he travels to somewhere he doesn't want to go in the first place -- his suitcase slides down the escalator, someone initiates Larry Craig-like footsie with him in the bathroom, his bags are blown up when he gets distracted.

Any great insights on how it should end? I have some ideas.

Things I would've liked to write were I better qualified or just more talented

Explaining how she felt when John McCain offered her the Vice-Presidential spot, my Vice-Presidential candidate, Governor Sarah Palin, said something very profound: “I answered him ‘Yes’ because I have the confidence in that readiness and knowing that you can’t blink, you have to be wired in a way of being so committed to the mission, the mission that we’re on, reform of this country and victory in the war, you can’t blink. So I didn’t blink then even when asked to run as his running mate.”

Isn’t that so true? I know that many times, in my life, while living it, someone would come up and, because of I had good readiness, in terms of how I was wired, when they asked that—whatever they asked—I would just not blink, because, knowing that, if I did blink, or even wink, that is weakness, therefore you can’t, you just don’t. You could, but no—you aren’t.

That is just how I am.

Do you know the difference between me and a Hockey Mom who has forgot her lipstick?

A dog collar.

Do you know the difference between me and a dog collar smeared with lipstick?

Not a damn thing.

We are essentially wired identical.

So, when Barack Obama says he will put some lipstick on my pig, I am, like, Are you calling me a pig? If so, thanks! Pigs are the most non-Élite of all barnyard animals. And also, if you put lipstick on my pig, do you know what the difference will be between that pig and a pit bull? I’ll tell you: a pit bull can easily kill a pig. And, as the pig dies, guess what the Hockey Mom is doing? Going to her car, putting on more lipstick, so that, upon returning, finding that pig dead, she once again looks identical to that pit bull, which, staying on mission, the two of them step over the dead pig, looking exactly like twins, except the pit bull is scratching his lower ass with one frantic leg, whereas the Hockey Mom is carrying an extra hockey stick in case Todd breaks his again. But both are going, like, Ha ha, where’s that dumb pig now? Dead, that’s who, and also: not a smidge of lipstick.

A lose-lose for the pig.

There’s a lesson in that, I think.

Who does that pig represent, and that collar, and that Hockey Mom, and that pit bull?

You figure it out. Then give me a call.

Seriously, give me a call.

Now, let us discuss the Élites. There are two kinds of folks: Élites and Regulars. Why people love Sarah Palin is, she is a Regular. That is also why they love me. She did not go to some Élite Ivy League college, which I also did not. Her and me, actually, did not go to the very same Ivy League school. Although she is younger than me, so therefore she didn’t go there slightly earlier than I didn’t go there. But, had I been younger, we possibly could have not graduated in the exact same class. That would have been fun. Sarah Palin is hot. Hot for a politician. Or someone you just see in a store. But, happily, I did not go to college at all, having not finished high school, due to I killed a man. But had I gone to college, trust me, it would not have been some Ivy League Élite-breeding factory but, rather, a community college in danger of losing its accreditation, built right on a fault zone, riddled with asbestos, and also, the crack-addicted professors are all dyslexic.

Sarah Palin was also the mayor of a very small town. To tell the truth, this is where my qualifications begin to outstrip even hers. I have never been the mayor of anything. I can’t even spell right. I had help with the above, but now— Murray, note to Murray: do not correct what follows. Lets shoe the people how I rilly spel Mooray and punshuate so thay can c how reglar I am, and ther 4 fit to leed the nashun, do to: not sum mistir fansy pans.

OK Mooray. Get corecting agin!

Thanks, Murray, you’re fabulous. Very good at what you do. Actually, Murray, come to think of it, you are so good, I suspect you are some kind of Élite. You are fired, Murray, as soon as this article is done. I’m going to hire someone Regular, who is not so excellent, and lives off the salt of the land and the fat of his brow and the sweat of his earth. Although I hope he’s not a screw-up.

I’m finding it hard to concentrate, as my eyes are killing me, due to I have not blinked since I started writing this. And, me being Regular, it takes a long time for me to write something this long.

Where was I? Ah, yes: I hate Élites. Which is why, whenever I am having brain surgery, or eye surgery, which is sometimes necessary due to all my non-blinking, I always hire some random Regular guy, with shaking hands if possible, who is also a drunk, scared of the sight of blood, and harbors a secret dislike for me.

Now, let’s talk about slogans. Ours is: Country First. Think about it. When you think of what should come first, what does? Us ourselves? No. That would be selfish. Our personal families? Selfish. God? God is good, I love Him, but, as our slogan suggests, no, sorry, God, You are not First. No, you don’t, Lord! How about: the common good of all mankind! Is that First? Don’t make me laugh with your weak blinking! No! Mercy is not First and wisdom is not First and love is super but way near the back, and ditto with patience and discernment and compassion and all that happy crap, they are all back behind Country, in the back of my S.U.V., which— Here is an example! Say I am about to run over a nun or orphan, or an orphan who grew up to become a nun—which I admire that, that is cool, good bootstrapping there, Sister—but then God or whomever goes, “It is My will that you hit that orphaned nun, do not ask Me why, don’t you dare, and I say unto thee, if you do not hit that nun, via a skillful swerve, your Country is going to suffer, and don’t ask Me how, specifically, as I have not decided that yet!” Well, I am going to do my best to get that nun in one felt swope, because, at the Convention, at which my Vice-Presidential candidate kicked mucho butt, what did the signs there say? Did they say “Orphaned Nuns First” and then there is a picture of a sad little nun with a hobo pack?

Not in my purview.

Sarah Palin knows a little something about God’s will, knowing God quite well, from their work together on that natural-gas pipeline, and what God wills is: Country First. And not just any country! There was a slight error on our signage. Other countries, such as that one they have in France, reading our slogan, if they can even read real words, might be all, like, “Hey, bonjour, they are saying we can put our country, France, first!” Non, non, non, France! What we are saying is, you’d better put our country first, you merde-heads, or soon there will be so much lipstick on your pit bulls it will make your berets spin!

In summary: Because my candidate, unlike your winking/blinking Vice-Presidential candidate, who, though, yes, he did run as the running mate when the one asking him to run did ask him to run, which that I admire, one thing he did not do, with his bare hands or otherwise, is, did he ever kill a moose? No, but ours did. And I would. Please bring a moose to me, over by me, and down that moose will go, and, if I had a kid, I would take a picture of me showing my kid that dead moose, going, like, Uh, sweetie, no, he is not resting, he is dead, due to I shot him, and now I am going to eat him, and so are you, oh yes you are, which is responsible, as God put this moose here for us to shoot and eat and take a photo of, although I did not, at that time, know why God did, but in years to come, God’s will was revealed, which is: Hey, that is a cool photo for hunters about to vote to see, plus what an honor for that moose, to be on the Internet.

How does the moose feel about it? Who knows? Probably not great. But do you know what the difference is between a dead moose with lipstick on and a dead moose without lipstick?

Lipstick.

Think about it.

Moose are, truth be told, Élites. They are big and fast and sort of rule the forest. Sarah took that one down a notch. Who’s Élite now, Bullwinkle?

Not Sarah.

She’s just Regular as heck.

My Gal by George Saunders, from the September 22 issue of The New Yorker.

Another thought

I've advocated in the past to ban children from carrying umbrellas because they're not aware enough to carry one responsibly.

The opposite is true for backpacks, however. Give them backpacks. All of them. They seem to enjoy it, so take advantage of the extra capacity.

Remember when suitcases didn't have wheels?

Amazing to consider. It wasn't so long ago.

What were we thinking?

Taxes schmaxes

I was just thinking about taxes after reading this article ... http://money.cnn.com/2008/06/11/news/economy/candidates_taxproposals_tpc/index.htm ... and also having recently visited Sweden where tax rates are top in terms of %, yet everyone seems to be happy, looked after and incredibly well dressed.

[PAUSE AS ER/UK WALKS OVER TO NEARBY HIGH HORSE AND GETS LEG UP AND OVER SADDLE]

My stance: taxes are fun to complain about, but really, if you're reading this blog, you're rich, and complaining about your forced monetary contributions to society at any level is a bit petty.

I've had some conversations about The Economy lately with friends and family, and although I do have an opinion, if I sit back and consider things from a macro perspective, I can't quite convince myself that these things matter. This isn't to say that economic struggle in the US and across the developed world isn't real, it's just to say that when so many opportunities are afforded to such a select few, it seems silly to compare basis points.

[ER/UK DOES FLYING DISMOUNT FROM HIGH HORSE, FALLS FACE-FIRST INTO STABLE YARD, PICKS SELF UP, PICKS TEETH UP, THEN AMBLES BOW-LEGGED TOWARDS TOMORROW'S BLOG]

The trifecta

Trifecta of gloriousness has a small chance of happening several times this season. It's when Notre Dame football, the Colts, and Arsenal all win.

Happened last weekend in fairly dramatic circumstances in each game.

Trifecta of gloriousness can also happen when I'm feeling more cynical. Tottenham must lose, Tom Brady must be broken into small pieces, and Sarah Palin must respond to interview questions similarly to Miss Teen South Carolina. Done, done and done.

I think I think

Friends, comrades, lovers: it's been too long. I have so many things on my mind these days and I should really be blogging about them separately.

But I'm lazy so here's the list:

1. Sarah Palin -- so many frustrations. Originally I thought she might be a legit pick. After seeing her stumble through a gimme interview I can honestly say that if McCain is elected we'll be getting the presidential duo we deserve. Politics will have officially gone the way of American Idol. It's somehow not cool to be thoughtful or informed anymore. It's better to be memorable and instinctive. I'm sad.

2. Paralympics -- On the one hand it's inspiring. I watched wheelchair tennis and a few swimming events, volleyball ... on the other hand it seems like there are a lot of unfair matchups. I watched 7v7 football and the team with the 'lesser' disabilities won easily. It's tough for me to watch and enjoy something if it seems unfair. Maybe it doesn't matter. If you haven't already, please also watch a game of Goal Ball and let me know your impressions.

3. Parents -- mine are in town. They're adorable. They keep wearing cargo pants and new shoes purchased especially for this trip. I also go to bed approximately 10 hours earlier when they're around.

4. Fondue -- Seriously? Bread and melted cheese for dinner? For 50 francs? Fondue? More like fondon't. We fondidn't.

5. Swiss cheese -- No dad, they have other kinds of cheese there too [Switzerland].

Give the people what they want:

I'm still alive by the way

Just in the midst of an exhausting bout of travel which has already seen me in Frankfurt and Stockholm, sees me off to Paris tonight, Zurich on Thursday, and Basel and Interlaken at the weekend (with the 'rents).

Here are my city guides to this point:

Frankfurt -- finance.hotels.taxis.hookers.applewine.
Stockholm -- best.city.ever.

Gobama

Be great tonight.

My pool of friends has no deep end

Last month I found out that my friend Sarah's new housemate Anna is good friends with my fellow expat buddy Pat here in London. They went to school together. That school was Boston College, for which I find it hard to forgive them.

Last week I found out that my friend Bess' husband Joel knows my ex-girlfriend's high school friend Meredith. They met in the dogpark when their dogs enjoyed sniffing each other in that disgusting way that doglovers strangely enjoy and the rest of us try to ignore.

Last night I saw an old friend named Kalyani. I met her last year when I moved to London. A guy on my C'ville soccer team (go Donnybrook FC!) had a friend named Marisa in London and passed me her contact information when I moved over. She went to school in London with Kalyani, who has since moved to Beijing but was back in town for graduation. I met her friend Anna at drinks and we discovered that we each know Sulove -- she goes to school with him; I know him via my friend Conor who hung out with him when they both lived in New York. Anna and I decided to text Sulove the same exact message at the same exact time ('hello my brown friend ... how are things?'). Having no way to know that we'd met, he sent us both text messages asking if we'd just sent him a message that said 'hello my brown friend ... how are things?' as he'd received identical messages from two friends. Also, he said to answer the question he was hale and hearty. Anna and I replied separately that we'd sent him that exact message, and each included cryptic references that referred to the responses he'd sent to the other person. Sulove was upset and confused. Afterwards I explained the whole thing and we made plans to hang out when his friend Youyoung -- who I met once in New York with Conor (we all went to this Bulgarian club that I took Sarah too a couple of weeks ago when I was back in New York), and then saw again in Berlin for the Radiohead show in July -- is in town. Apparently they know each other.

O'Biden

Maybe Biden isn't so bad. I like the idea of Big O choosing a running mate based on principles and not their home state. I like that Joe is verbose and says the wrong thing sometimes so that The Daily Show and Colbert Report will continue to have plenty of fodder.

Made the transition from completely underwhelmed to slightly bitter neutrality.

Winning the arms race

WE WON!

CNNsi medals table: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/olympics/2008/medals/tracker
BBC medals table: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/olympics/medals_table/default.stm

Ooh, something's not right there. Why would a gold medal be worth more than a, er, bronze? A medal is a medal. Crazy brits.

Better go to the tiebreaker...

Al Jazeera medals table: www1.aljazeera.net/english/sports/olympics/medals-tally.html

Yessssss.

Carnavore

Big party weekend in London, this. Biggest of the year in fact. Today and tomorrow are the Notting Hill Carnaval, where relocated urban residents of Notting Hill circa 1985 come back and have a massive party in the neighborhood of their gentrificaters (made up word).

I love jerk chicken.

Completely underwhelmed

Biden?

In a perfect world it would've been Bill Richardson, but putting two minorities on the ticket just isn't possible in this day, which is sad. It's been frustrating enough to see muted support for Obama from those who would benefit from his view of the world. That must be racialist. Which I hate.

Biden doesn't have any idiosyncrasies that rub me the wrong way apart from occassionally speaking just because he loves the sound of his own voice. When I see him I don't cringe like I do when I see Tim Kaine (not sure why -- it happens when I see him on TV and in person. I was on a plane with him once and cringed for the whole 2 hour flight). He's not unlikeable, like Hillary. I guess he's just ... old ... and from Delaware. Nice that he'll definitely pull Delaware!

Also, the timing seems poor. Would've got more bang on a Monday and after the Olympics.

Evan Bayh would've been cool. He's a Hoosier.

That was me

From my colleague's blog:

So one work colleague just visibly pissed off another work colleague and the room became very quiet right afterwards.

Way to go buddy, it's like daddy just hit mommy at the dinner table in here...

No hard feelings Gabe.

Things that I forgot, part 2

Apple sauce too.

And marshmallows (little ones) for something my flatmate Annie wants to make at Thanksgiving.

I forgot to buy peanut butter

Frustrating, because some trips are for work, some are for holiday, and some are for buying peanut butter. Having neglected to buy peanut butter, this will be filed as just another work trip.

Reasons I wanted to buy some:

1. You can't get it here in the same focus-grouped, non-organic, supplemented with lots of non-peanut, extra crunchy format.

2. I wanted to find out if peanut butter is an allowable carry-on. It's not a gel, it's not a liquid -- but something makes me think it might cause a problem. A problem I would've challenged with a lot of dissent, especially given Reason #1.

Eric the Eel

Maybe it's just too easy to link a video in and call it a blog post, but...



Rumo(u)r has it I was named after the Olympian Eric Heiden. I can imagine my folks sitting around, Lorraine all preggers, brainstorming on names. They came up with Eric, flipped on the telly and saw Mr. Heiden with his 5 speedskating medals at the 1980 Winter Games in New York, and that was that. Apparently my sister also gave her $0.02 and we can all be thankful that Arby didn't stick.

Anyhow I'd be proud to be named after Eric the Eel as well. I'm certainly more like he is (or was -- he actually improved unbelievably between 2000 and 2004) in the pool than Heiden is on ice. The announcers are taking the piss which you should probably expect from the Aussies, but I think it's a great Olympic moment.

On an incredibly similar note here's to my friend Julie (of the famous duo "Nate & Julie") who's flying to Beijing tomorrow to coach Tanzania's first swimming entrant and youngest ever athlete. Her name is Magdalena (Missy) Moshi, she's 17, and she will be swimming the 50m freestyle on Friday.

The Olympics really should be more about chances like this, and about taking the piss out of Aussie broadcasters, and less about (1) steroids; (2) medal count cold wars; (3) censorship; (4) people getting stabbed; (5) President Bush falling off the wagon and being creepy around beach volleyball players; (6) Putin's quest to bring the Olympics to South Ossetia; (7) softball; (8) smog; (9) that little 14 year old English diver kid; (10) corporate sponsorship.

And with that [fantastic post] I'm off to 'Merica for a week. Maybe I'll see you there.

Someone Barack roll me

er/uk in and around the kitchen

Unless I'm staring into an open fridge looking for a quick fix or pouring a bowl of cereal, I'm not often found in the kitchen. Other people enjoy grocery shopping, planning and preparing for meals, cooking/baking, setting the table, cleaning up, washing dishes and packaging up leftovers in assorted tupperware more than I. So I say -- let them! My energies can be better spent enjoying their hard work and paying them for it, which enables me to more time to do the things that I like and am good at.

My longest stretch out of the kitchen occurred when I first moved to London and proceeded to eat out 2-3 times a day for 3 straight months.

That said, today I made myself spirally pasta with pesto sauce. It was fairly good! A bit salty. And there was no one to blame but me.

Olympiakos

Most of the sports are just so bizarre. And in the buildup I've mostly enjoyed the potential of protests by and for the 3 Ts (Tibet, Taiwan, Tiananmen). But the opening ceremonies were ... wow. Amazing in scope, creative license, firepower, expense, sheer quantity of people doing choreographed things and then waving ecstatically afterwards.

It would've been fun to hear the reactions of the planners for the opening ceremonies here in London for 2012. They have a fraction of the budget, half the imagination and Boris Johnson.

As my friend Stefan pointed out -- when a totalitarian government can't put on a good parade something has gone wrong. Seems like everything is alright in China. Those fireworks aren't really going to help with the smog though, are they?

Outsourcing the blog

Whose nose knows best? How good are you at smelling the things? Ok wait I don’t want your answer, just play this indoor board game and you are going to prove yourself. It carries various smells including peppermint, burnt rubber, cut grass, and the dreaded doggie doo doo. Aren’t that fun? ‘Big Kids’ too can enjoy and test their smelling power. For the first time, such a cool smell loving site comes up to you to drive you out with more creative indoor games, Entertain & Amuse!

Ok I probably can't do a backflip

Thanks, siblings, for reminding me of my failure to do a flip throw without breaking a clavicle.

You both played important roles.

Monica -- you were playing in a volleyball game that evening. And since mom wanted to see it (and didn't believe that I was actually hurt), she left me on the couch, hungry and broken, to go to your match. Hours later, when she returned to find me in the exact same position on the couch, she must've started to believe that maybe I was really in pain. Because after that it was only 3 more hours until she agreed to take me to the emergency room.

Kyle -- I can't think of a specific act of kindness from you, but you were such a thoughtful little brother I can't imagine you didn't do something to increase my burden.

Bless us, everyone.

School for kids who can't kick good

So just when you think that every trick involving a soccer ball has been done, some kids in a developing country somewhere get a camera and decide to BLOW YOUR MIND.



I remember seeing this a couple of months back and being amazed. Was reminded it again when they used clips from it in adverts for the upcoming premiere league season. I wish I could do a backflip. I mean -- maybe I can and I've just never tried. I should try.

Keep on keeping on

For those of you who didn't already know: I love lists.

Today I crossed some things off The List, which was nice. Now I'll take whatever is left at the end of the day (usually the big things lurking on the bottom), and transpose them to a nice clean list for tomorrow. And I always make sure I add some really simple and easy items above and below said Items Which Have Been On The List And Shalt Remain On The List For Some Time.

That way I feel like I've accomplished something.

Post a new blog [check]

Gotcha

If you ever see me approaching you with a rubber ball, be afraid. Or just stand exactly where you are and watch the ball harmlessly bounce several feet from where you stand.

www.ericreinford.com

Nice one Kyle.

Arsenal are playing real footie again!

I can't believe the season is almost here.

The Gunners played Juventus today and it was like the offseason never happened. Again, I was completely inspired by our youngsters. It's unbelievable how Arsenal can start 8 or 9 teenagers (including one 15 or 16 year old) against Juventus and put up a fight.

I was also reminded how awful Eboue is and that he is still in the squad. And the same question -- 'how in the world can he ever see even a moment on the pitch let alone start games' -- resurfaced. It's baffling. He's so rubbish. He singlehandedly makes me question Arsene's genius. Over here everyone speaks of the need to win trophies ... and I guess I'm probably alone in being just as happy watching the best football even when the results at the end of the season aren't there. The season is a slog and it's usually the best defence that wins. Who really cares about the best defence? It's boring. Perhaps Euro 2008 will signal a sea change in the types of teams who win tournaments and trophies and punish those who try to win 1-0. That said it's hard to believe you're watching the best team by either measure (style or results) when Eboue is out there running around being terrible. 

The squad additions are exciting -- Ramsey, Nasri, Vela. Should be a good season.

Come on you reeeeeeeds!

Big G

I already paid homage to him this week by making a bad pun. Twice. Happy Birthday Dad!

Last year's tribute was heartwarming: http://er-uk.blogspot.com/2007/08/today-legend-was-born.html. It's tough to improve on.








Welp, see you later. Love you dad. Happy 5Xth.

3542 km to Mecca

Beirut via Damascus

It was a Syreal experience*. No one there eats Syreal*.

Syriously though, I had a great trip. Left for Damascus International Wednesday night, arrived Thursday morning (upgraded to Business Class cuz that's how I roll when they overbook the flight but then one guy who booked B-Class doesn't show up and they give me his seat last minute instead of giving me a huge voucher and rebooking me through Paris).

I spent Thursday and Friday in Old City Damascus, walking through the mosques and souks, buying both kinds of wraps (woven and meat).

Friday got a cab to Beirut. And Beirut was lovely. It reinforced my suspicion that State Department travel advisories are maybe a little politically biased. Trekked around the downtown and then to some surrounding cities, including Byblos, which is pretty high up on my Favorite City Names to Pronounce list. Right up there with Plovdiv. I like to say them both with a Slavic accent.

What we didn't do was go to the South, which was originally the plan for Sunday. We were going to drive the border and go to this Hezbollah museum and play in the land mines. But since it was Sunday the UN permit office was closed and we were not allowed to go.

Then on Monday night got back to Damascus. Chilled. Flew back to London the next morning.

I learned a lot too, mostly because I was hanging out with all these Middle East and Arabio-obsessed academics who enjoy, among no other things:

1. Talking about the Middle East.
2. Studying Arabic.
3. Watching Al Jazeera in Arabic.
4. Helping each other work through Middle East and Arabic related projects and studies.
5. Reading Arabic newspapers and books.
6. Traveling the region to look at old Ottoman and Roman buildings and palaces.
7. Scowling at Saudis and Gulfies and sometimes French people.
8. Eating.
9. Going to bed at 10.30.
10. Renewing their visas and trading visa/consulate/embassy-related stories and advice.

I could only relate to the scowling part and the eating part, but those activities can really fill the day.

I also went to a hammam, which I view as one gigantic positive to come from the oppression of women -- it's good to see men taking a little time for themselves not on the couch, in front of the TV or working on their lawn (especially when one considers how pointless, expensive, wasteful and hazardous lawns have become). We Westerners really should adopt the weekly practice of sitting in steam, getting abrasive scrub downs by large shirtless Kurdish men, and drinking hot tea while sitting around in our towels. If someone combined a hammam with a good old fashioned Turkish barbering (and charged in Syrian Pounds, in East London, and had a no Saudis/Gulfies/Frenchies-allowed policy), I'd be there every week.

Pictures to come.

*My dad's bday is in 2 days. These bad puns are kind of in honor of him.

Dumbass kiss

I apologise if the use of profanity in my blog title offended your delicate sensibilities. It was never my intention to hurt you or hurt "us".

Tonight I fly to Damascus (oh now you get it) and this weekend I'll be in Beirut. I'm straying further and further from my London nest just as I'd hoped to do this year. Having seen Nate and Julie at the weekend I think my final big trip of the year has got to be back to The Motherland (Africa, not Lancaster county. Or Russia).

Shukran.

So, America

It's so hot there. And it doesn't help to be hot and to be doing the things I was doing:

1. Wearing a shirt and tie at an outdoor wedding.
2. Dancing [like a "loose cannon"] at an outdoor wedding.
3. Riding in a bus with no A/C.
4. Playing dodgeball (my shoulder hurts and my performance was solidly average).
5. Walking around a lot with my brother who likes to walk around a lot.

Really good trip though. Good to see you SteveBradMarkMarkKristySarahKyleRicesNateJulieRyanMichelleKyleConorandlotsofotherpeople.

We should all do it again soon when someone else decides that now is a good time to get married and then eventually move somewhere silly.

La la la la la America

That's where I go tomorrow. And since I'm flying Virgin Atlantic I will have a chance to catch up on movies by watching 3 back to back to back while simultaneously watching TV and listening to hundreds of new albums and playing video games and eating crisps.

I'm going to a wedding, which is ehhh, but friends will be brought together which is ahhh. Here's to Kyle Horst not flying Virgin on his honeymoon. HIYO ... the small joys and indulgences of a quasi suggestive airline brand name. Rejoice.

*Bonus points if you can identify the song in the title.

Back next Tuesday. Short but sweet.

My time of the month

Edinburgh was lovely, as usual.

Just before I went I treated myself to a Turkish barbering and shave at the Ted Baker store down the street from our new office.

This is how it went down:

• They washed my hair.
• Cut my hair.
• Dried my hair.
• Hot towel & face wash.
• Application of shave oil.
• Professional straight razor shave, Turkish variety.
• The flaming treatment -- singeing of fine hairs on ears and cheek bones.
• After shave moisturiser.
• Second hot towel.
• Face, back and arm massage.
• Final moisturiser.

I felt amazing afterward and have decided that I will do this every month. I literally looked 5 years younger when I left. And since I already look 5 years younger than I am, this was almost a problem.

Mom, did I always look young? Like when I was 5 did I still look like I was zero?

Lights and music

This is before the silent disco. It's an interactive art installation where the lights respond to touch and sound and produce music. Pretty interesting, and as you can see, Christian was impressed with himself.



Sigur Ros are worth it. Prolific musicians in their own right, and backed but a 5 piece brass band and string quartet. In a cathedral. Top 5 fo sho.



Radiohead 2.0 Berlin edition was better. I like how you can tell it's Thom Yorke even though the picture is blurry. Short + mullet.



Rockabilly night. Wondering how I got there and why I remained for so, so long.




Justice (equatability in French DJ format).
She could've done a little better with the face paint application.

Off to Edinburgh I go. Back Tuesday.

Plug n play

Conrad Erb

Brad Miller

I haven't been out of the country for a while

I think I'll do something about that starting tomorrow.

Back at the weekend. I'm headed east (Germany, East, Berlin).

Overheard during a Germany game during the Euro 2008 prior to Germany taking a free kick: "TAKE DOWN THAT WALL!"

Lot of hearts in dogs throats

Hope you watched Wimbledon today. It was out of control. It was absolutely insane. And highlights will do it no justice. If you missed it, you missed out.

I'd call myself a neutral with a Federer crush, but it really didn't matter if you cared one way or the other today. Other sports can be exciting for the pageantry or the format, but tennis is just so much more exposed: there are no gimmicks. I think that leads to a lot of matches that maybe aren't worth watching, but it also leads to classics like today. Two guys who know each other's strengths and weaknesses so precisely that it takes 5 hours to separate them by a single point. So many important points that required perfect execution, nowhere to hide and no excuses. Somewhere Andy Murray and Andy Roddick were watching and wishing they were on the same planet.

Congratulations Rafa. Well deserved. And congratulations Federer for playing your part in a match so good that John McEnroe cried and tried to hug you in the post match interview (awkward!).

Other congrats and awards go to:

Nike -- most logos in a final with 25. 2+2+2+2 swooshes on shoes. 2+2+2+2 on socks. 1+1 on shorts. 1+1 on shirts. 1+1 on giant headbands. 1+2 on wristbands. Internal Nike marketing memo for Monday morning: encourage Federer to start wearing an additional wristband.

Boris Johnson -- worst hair. 8 millionth day running.

BBC -- for being better at broadcasting sports than NBC (or any other US network -- see below).

It wouldn't be a proper post without some criticism, so I'll apply that to the production. I started watching the match on BBC and ended it on NBC via Slingbox. The most obvious difference was that in the US we stuff a commercial between every game. The more annoying difference was the commentary. The Brits are subtle. They commentate on the match. They tell you the score and have interesting insights into the strategies of the players. The Americans are sensationalists, in search of the perfect soundbyte. Any commentary is secondary to banter intended to illicit an emotional response to the players and to the match of the day. If BBC calls it the greatest final ever played it carries a bit of gravitas. If an American network says the same thing it's because ... that's the match they're showing that day.

Again, I only watched the last set from 2-2 onwards on NBC but plenty of things were said that annoyed me. 

Nothing's impossible with these two! (this soundbyte sponsored by Adidas)

They don't bring out the best in each other, they bring out superman in each other.

I think we're gonna see a grown man cry.

This is the first Wimbledon final EVER to go past 9pm. (helpful. would've been more compelling with a complementary on-screen graphic.)

First Euro Cup 208 [Euro CUP? 208?!] and now this. The sangria is going to be flowing in Spain tonight!

Center court rising as one, as if this is one giant thank you.

Roger Federer: his grace never ends.

Rafael Nada: his humility never ceases.

No... no... there can't be a loser!! (yes, yes there can be. if you spoke these words with conviction, you are a loser.)