Dear everyone here...

Attention all the peoples of the United Kingdom, this is an important message:

Abercrombie & Fitch is not cool. Despite what you may be imagining, it is worn almost exclusively by teens and pre-teens in the United States. I repeat: no one over the age of 17, with the exception of a few of my friends from college who should know better by now, wear Abercrombie & Fitch. Please do not change your daily routine based on the opening of the store here, and don't be fooled by the high prices and prime location.

It's mostly just cotton.

And as a general rule, you should always avoid clothing lines that feature their brand name prominently on 90% of their wares. Unless you're being paid by American Eagle or Old Navy, the free promotion you're giving them is more than a little silly.

Also -- could more adults just please dress like adults? I know you like those tracky bottoms and colorful little tops your sons and daughters are wearing, but it's kind of disturbing to see you dressing interchangeably.

If it would be helpful, I could come up with some sort of equation whereas you take your age over the age of 17, and it becomes a multiple which calculates how lame you are if you're rocking A&F or otherwise dressing like you still live with your parents (if you live in Spain you're exempt as everyone there lives with their parents until they get married, even extremely fashionable and desirable girls that I have no mind to offend).

This is all for the best, believe me.

Thanks!
er/uk