Footie ball

There's a big European soccer/football match taking place this week, and after watching yesterday's awful FA Cup final, we can all thank our lucky stars that neither team in the Champion's League final is named Chelsea or Manchester United.

No, the game matches up Liverpool and AC Milan.

As preparation, I thought I'd provide lyrics to some of Liverpool's cheers.

For Pepe Reina (Liverpool's Spanish goalkeeper, to the tune of "He's got the whole world"):

We've got a big Spaniard in our goal,
we've got a big, big Spaniard in our goal.
We've got a big Spaniard in our goal,
we've got a big Spaniard in our goal.

For Steven Gerrard (Liverpool's talisman captain, to the tune of "Que sera, sera"):

Steve Gerrard, Gerrard,
he'll pass the ball forty yards,
he's scouse and he's f**king hard,
Steve Gerrard, Gerrard.

And for the awkwardly tall Peter Crouch (6'7" striker):

He's big, he's red, his boots stick out of bed.
He's tall, he's lean, he's a freaky goal machine.

I haven't heard any Milan cheers, but they're probably all racist anyway. The English are so much more civil -- the worst they do is poking fun at the Holocaust and things like that.