Here it is. Spectacularly yours, love er/uk

The er/uk Best of Times/Worst of Times 2007 Year End Spectacular

Best post nominations:
Silly Gringos
ND plays tonight which means I'll be a mess for a few months
Attainable greatness
Lifetime stats
Kidney stones and the people who love them

Worst post nominations:
I bought a toaster -- [Toaster? I hardly know her!]
Today
Bathing

Best month:
March -- [Which is to say that I peaked early and we all have nothing to look forward to. Ever again. April and June were my most prolific months.]

Worst month:
December -- [I've been cashing it in lately, waiting to see if my blogging contract negotiations go as planned.]

Most educational posts:
er/ukipedia
Rubik, you crazy Hungarian sculpter and architect you
P-T-O Y do Americans like to work so much?
QWERTY
Döner Kebab v Shawarma
Swedes

Best comment by a fictional reader:
The New Yorker Caption Contest is a sham
[My apology] -- It's true. I've made a mistake.

Most controversial post:
Punching someone in the face is better than war

Best recovery from a substandard post:
Ibitha --> Fox Murdering

Most spectacular failed attempt at a recurring column:
Ask er/uk, first installment

Best title:
Acropolis Now

Best title that some of you had problems figuring out:
Tanner than Danny -- [Think: Full House, Uncle Jessie, et al.]

Other titles I'm proud of:
Geneve Lopez
Overly nostalgic

Titles to forget:
Emba-rrassing
It's suboats to be fun
The wetter here is awful

Moments of greatness:
1. The creation of Rick O'Pedia
2. "...the conference I'm going to is going to be a total loukaniko fest..." -- [From Strike 1.]
3. The acronym er/uk. When sounded out as one word it's the same as my name! I hope by now you've all figured that out.

Moments of insanity:
Knut, the polar bear from Berlin

Blog of the year:
1. www.deadspin.com
270. http://cemusic.blogspot.com
70,949. http://er-uk.blogspot.com

Person of the year:
1. Vladimir Putin
2. You

The er/uk Best Of Times/Worst of Times 2007 Year End Spectacular

If you're looking for The er/uk Best Of Times/Worst of Times 2007 Year End Spectacular, you've come to the right place!

But if you thought I was going to write it today you must be crazy. I'm way too busy. Packing and moving and buying gifts and going to see amazing football matches between Arsenal and Tottenham and showing my cousin Nate around the city and finishing things up at work, etc.

I'll do it when I'm home in Goshen. I'm sure I can find a few spare moments between meals.

Look forward to seeing a lot of you over the next few weeks. We'll talk soon. I love you guys.

Holler at me

Just bought tix for Arsenal v Tottenham tomorrow. HUGE!

Also busy packing and moving and hiring Eastern European cleaners.

Today is the last day to submit your nominations for The er/uk Best Of Times/Worst of Times 2007 Year End Spectacular!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go see a museum about a crack.

To do list

In Goshen:

1. Eat applesauce.
2. Eat a variety of homemade baked goods including cinnamon rolls.
3. Sample a variety of cereals which are not available in the UK (Trix, Corn Chex, etc.)
4. Eat haystacks.
5. Meet my new nephew David for the first time.
6. Stay at my parent's new house for the first time.
7. Have awkward run-ins with people from high school.

In New York:

1. Eat pizza purchased between 3 and 5am.
2. Eat brunch.
3. Go to the Brooklyn Tabernacle.
4. Hang out with some tarts and chips.
5. HAVE THE BEST NEW YEARS EVER!
6. Buy another suit. And some lean cut shirts.

In Charlottesville:

1. Continue spending dollars and - by virtue of the exchange rate - save money (pounds) with every purchase.
2. Beat Anne Logue at ping pong.
3. Eat at Continental Divide.
4. and Ten.
5. and C&O.
6. and Guadalajara.
7. and Basil.
8. and 5 Guys.
9. and Mel's.
10. and Riverside.

I must be hungry.

11. and Mas.

Learning.co.uk

Thanks for submitting to my advances. To send in nominations for basically anything about my blog you'd like to nominate, including:

1. Best blog posts.
2. Worst blog posts.
3. Best and worst titles.
4. Best and worst attempts at humo(u)r.
5. Oliver you're a jerk for submitting so many negative ones.

Keep them coming everyone but Oliver.

If I were a genius website developer -- and I just might be; I've just never tried -- I would amalgamate all of the great new learning games onto one site and donate all the proceeds to my future pacifist political party: the Dove Party.

So far here are the list of sites that would be linked there:

Free Rice: www.freerice.com
Use it to learn how to talk good.

The Traveler IQ Challenge: www.travelpod.com/traveler-iq
Use it to learn about all the places you've never been and also to realize how average you are at pinpointing the location of places you've already been.

Toodles.

Help make submission plural

So far I've received two submissions for my top 10 posts of the year. Top 2 list doesn't have the same ring to it so please let your nominations be known.

Mom if you don't send one in I'm not going to put my dishes in the sink when I'm home and will use the kitchen sink to wash my hands and brush my teeth.

Or maybe I should do a worst 10 posts of the year. I'm worried that nominations might max out my inbox. But yeah let's change it to a top 5 list and do best and worst.

I'll start (or actually I'll go third):

Best Post: http://er-uk.blogspot.com/2007/08/today-legend-was-born.html
Worst Post: http://er-uk.blogspot.com/2007/06/bathing.html

You can also nominate posts just purely based on the titles (best and worst titles of the year). And you can also nominate your favorite one-liners or one of my many failed attempts at humor.

Just looking back through the archives brought back a lot of memories. Good times. I really enjoy rereading things that I thought were funny and interesting. I hope I'm not the only one.

Last week of the year

The blogging year, that is. On Sunday I go home and then on a little hybrid work-vaca tour of the USA!USA!USA!

Got back from gay Paree after a nice weekend that saw Arsenal beat Chelsea AND injure their captain. He was hurt during a genuine attempt for the ball by Arsenal's right midfielder. The Chelsea players and coach thought it merited a red card as an intentional foul. I'm going to give the Arsenal player the benefit of the doubt in this case and say that he was, in fact, trying to hurt the Chelsea player.

Keep those GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) blog nominations coming in -- I've already received between 1 and 2.

GOAT 07

Hello all and a very happy Friday.

As a very special year end blog I'm hoping to do a Best Of, from my blogs this year. I'm hoping for 10 but that would mean that I wrote 10 memorable blogs over the last 9 months, which may be a bit of a stretch considering some of the drivel that's been published here.

That said, if a particular post stands out to, please send me an email or post a comment. I'll aggregate the results and will then post a commemorative Best Of blog next week that you can all print out and put into your box of er/uk keepsakes.

I'm off to France for the weekend so you'll have extra time to think it over. Ohr vwahr!

TWO POSTS IN ONE DAY!

I know, I know: this is unheard of.

But I just wanted to mention that I'm soooo excited because today is the day that baseball dies.

I'm going to do something cultural

Saturday I'm going to Normandy.
Next week I'm going to the theatre.

Also, I now wear a monocle.

Chopsticks

I'm getting pretty good at them, and forming a strange muscle in my hand that's given me a much needed boost to my endurance. I can get through a whole Phad Thai without resting or anything.

Apart from that it's a pretty slow news day.

What's in a name?

I'm sure many of you have read Freakonomics. If you haven't, it's worth a look and shouldn't take you less than a few days to get through. Unless you're my dad in which case you're still only 1/3 of the way through the second easiest and most readable book of the past few years: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time.

To be fair, he devours magazines.

Freakonomics has a chapter about names and about how first names can be correlated with the education level of the parents. Also some interesting notes about how names cycle through generations and social classes. And some funny stories about twins named Winner and Loser, and children named Oranjello and Lemonjello.

More recently there was a NYTimes article about the most common names in the U.S. and how for the first time two Hispanic names are in the top 10. My last name isn't in the top 5,000 list, which means I'm probably more interesting than you.

Now there's this thing about how parents are naming their kids bizarre things so that they're more Google-able. It's true, it is tough to look up the girls I meet when they have really simple names. I never even called Mandy Smith back.

I've been inspired by some of the European names I've come across. I'm going to name my sons Indy, Menno and Oskar. And my daughter Stella.

Now about finding that wife*.

*But then again there was an interesting article in last week's Daily Telegraph about how men who are at least 15 years the senior of their wives have bigger families. And since I'm looking to build a dynasty, that suits me. And since that means that my future bride may be celebrating her 12th birthday, I've got plenty of time.

My flight leaves in 2 weeks

I have a pretty nice little December planned if everything goes according to plan.

A lot of my stress level will depend on executing a successful move from my current flat to the new one that I already put a deposit and first month's rent on and was supposed to move into on December 1. Estate agents are terrible people. They're almost as bad as doormen. Who are almost as bad as people who hit you with their car and don't stop (stay strong Matthew).

Which is to say that apart from criminals, it doesn't get much lower than estate agents and doormen.

But back on point -- a move, a weekend trip to Paris and Normandy, a few more contracts at work, and I'll be a happy camper when I head home on the 23rd. I'm a bit sad that I missed the 'phews in their Christmas play (one was baby Jesus by the way, as if you needed to ask), but I'll see them in a few weeks and will be bringing good tidings of great joy to all the people [of Goshen].

I did

I did stay up to watch it, although only online. Mayweather won. GO AMERICA!

This was one of those where, if I were living in the States I would've cheered for Hatton, but living here I had to cheer for Mayweather. And that's because I don't like to see people with big heads. I like it when the people around me get knocked down a little. Humility does a body good.

US v UK

I think I might stay up and watch the Mayweather v Hatton boxing match tonight. It should start by 5am or so.

Knut, the polar bear from Berlin

So there's this famous polar bear cub in Germany. His name is Knut. He's one year old this week. During the year he went from weighing 2 pounds (day 1) to weighing 250 pounds (day 365).

I was a fat baby. I weighed over 9 pounds. Applying the same growth multiple as Knut would have put me at around 1,200 pounds at my first birthday.

Or if I were to start growing at that rate today, I would go from 150 pounds to nearly 19,000 pounds by next December. So I'd need some new clothes for Christmas mom. And I'd also eat a lot.

Something to think about.

Berlin

Never been there, but I guess I'm going there next summer on July 8. To see Radiohead.

Swweeeeeet.

9 months in

Don't worry Mom, I'm not pregnant. But I have been here, in London, for 9 months as of today.

I know I say this all the time, but time really goes by pretty fast. In March I was a skinny, lanky, heartbroken dreamer who liked to impose his perspective and ideas on his friends and family by conversation. And look at me now! A skinny, lanky, headstrong dreamer who promotes his perspectives and ideas to friends and family and complete strangers through a blog. And also through conversation.

Ok so times change but things stay the same. Really I can't say that the last 9 months or moving to a city have changed me much. I may have stopped looking for middle-aged or pregnant women and old people to volunteer my seat to on the Tube, but I'll still give it up when the opportunity arises. Also when I walk around I look more at the ground than I do at the skyline, but that just means I have more coins in my pocket: I'm still economical (cheap).

I might also walk around with more determination and vigor. I don't wait for the walk sign and I will jam myself onto an uncomfortably crowded train without any apology.

And because there are some bad parts to London, I've perfected a facial expression/gait that suits any potentially volatile situation. It can be perceived as tough, drunk, distracted, good-humored, or lost. Or all of the above. It diffuses things before they become an issue.

Other than that, I'm the same. Oh except I wear skinny jeans now and a scarf everyday. And occasionally I sport a mullet.

And I say: mate, right, hiya, cheers, sorry, FA, pint, football and alright multiple times per day.

But other than that.

Muji

That's a cool store.

For those of you in the States -- not sure if it's there yet but if not it's coming soon. Same with Zara and Uniqlo.

Bought some knicknacks and some pattywacks.

These are a few of my least favo(u)rite things

Olives
Sweet Potatoes
Mushrooms

I don't eat any of the above if I can avoid it. But especially not either of the first two. I think olives are disgusting -- all wet and meaty and brown/green. Sick.

Sweet Potatoes I'm not really sure. I've never really tried them because my brother and I mutually decided NOT to like them or ever eat them when we were younger. Except for a case when someone secretly fed them to me when I was temporarily blind, I've never knowingly had them. I only hope that my dear brother is also honoring our pointless truce.

Mushrooms I'm kind of okay with now, depending on the context.

In a pretty serious turn of events, I've gone from never eating mayo to eating it quite often. That all changed when I started eating burgers at Mel's Diner in Charlottesville. Mel really knows what some mayo can contribute to a burger, and I respected him enough to give it a chance. I've never looked back.

Today I was worthless

I didn't do anything today. Waste of a day. Not sure what the reason was behind my complacency.

This frustrates me even while it's happening, and I'm sure many of you have the same moments of clarity even while somehow simultaneously knowing that you probably won't do much to change the course. There's more to the elephant/rider analogy than I'd like to believe.

What I really want to do in life is to do something great. So today I should've worked towards that. I feel as though I've been blessed with a lot of diverse talents, and to this point I've done a reasonable job of cultivating a lot of them partially.

For instance, I think I'm pretty good, but not great, at the following things:

1. My job.

2. Writing a blog.

3. Most sports.

4. Singing.

5. Playing instruments.

6. Dancing (debateable).

7. Being memorable.

8. Being spontaneous.

9. Being kind.

10. Being generous.

11. Being confident.

12. Being a friend.

So I'm going to start focusing more and working towards bringing one or several of these up a level. To greatness (as defined by me).

Starting tomorrow.

200th post!

So I guess that means I've been in London for 200 days. Wow.

I did notice the other day that I have officially replaced soccer with football in my vocab. I clicked on a link for football on a website and was surprised that it was American football.

Nice to be here for a full weekend even though there is a stressful component to things since I was expecting to move today but am not able to because the new flat has not been OK'd by the council. So maybe I'll move during the week, or next weekend or maybe even the weekend after. In the meantime I have to hope my current flat doesn't get let so I have a place to sleep. Things will work out.