Dangerous things!

1. Umbrellas - already discussed. With this being the rainiest "summer" in the history of the UK, my opinion has only been reinforced. I love Rihanna, and I love her new song, but if I were to follow the directions of her lyrics in literal fashion, there is no doubt in my mind that I would lose at least one eye in the process. Because if you're of average height, you're holding the umbrella (ella-ella-eh-eh-eh) at my eye level and if you're like every person who's ever held an umbrella, you're not keeping tabs on where all 50 stretchers (yes, the little bendy-expandable frame wires that carelessly extend the rib (cover) are called "stretchers") are jutting out to as you hurry down the street. Also I got a pretty bad accidental knock to the knee by someones goose-headed wooden crook.

2. Revolving Doors - even the actual utility is still a mystery to me. What possible advantages are there to regular doors apart from climate control? These can be dangerous too, in kind of a passive-aggressive way. Plus they're heavy and clumsy and I don't even want to think about getting caught up in one. Those in the know usually bypass them for regular doors.

3. Free biscuits (cookies) and tea/coffee at business meetings -Probably only really dangerous if you average 3 or more meetings per day and you have no self-control. Or an alternative to having no self control would just be that you're from a cultural upbringing that encourages thriftiness, not limited to but certainly including eating all free food, drinking all free anything, and the occasional washing, storing and re-using of ziplock bags.

Freakin Weeken. Amen.