Things that are harder here

1. Phones. For me to call you (assuming you are in the US, which is where most of my readership reside), I have to dial 001, then your phone number. Also I have to pay Vodafone £150 as a deposit to make non-domestic calls, which will be returned to me once I prove my trustworthiness as a mobile subscriber (this process of rapport-building always takes exactly 3 months), plus another £150 as a deposit for the phone. For you to call me from outside of the United Kingdom, you have to dial 001, 44, then my phone number. If you're in the UK, you have to dial my phone number preceded by a 0, which makes sense.

2. Bank Accounts. To open one, all you need is a residence, a job, a phone, and preferably another bank account. (It should be noted that to get a residence or a phone, a bank account is required). There are no free bank accounts in the UK - no perk accounts cost £6.50/month. They also, hilariously, print ALL of your account information, including routing number and account codes, on the front of your debit card. Also, if you choose to apply for a credit card, you may be granted one with a credit limit of as little as £200 ($400), which you can pick up in exchange for a £200 deposit.

3. Not being broke. Today I bought a deli sandwich from a grocery store for £3.80.

4. Reveling in Duke's first round defeat in the NCAA tournament. Normally seeing this news would've resulted in me celebrating in outrageous fashion. Each year on the first day of basketball season, a small seed of dismay is planted within me, which grows into a heavier yoke as the season progresses. The burden: that Duke will win the tournament. While each loss in regular season play and the conference tournament are small blessings, only their elimination in March puts me at peace. This year that day came sooner than expected. If I were still in the US, there is little doubt that I would be shirtless right now, with a phone to my ear, catching up with one of my inexplicable Duke lover friends in a conversation that would almost certainly progress from playful banter to hurtful and tragic personal insults. As it stands, I see the score troll by but allow myself only a knowing grin. I'm already detached. Plus, I've got bigger things to worry about. The Cricket World Cup is on and someone's got to cheer against Australia. And tomorrow there is 6 Nations Rugby -- what a tragedy it would be if the French won. It would tear me apart.